hungry angry lonely tired

It's been a long day -- J. came home from the hospital, I went to two meetings and read a story of mine at an art show/literary reading at the library, and I still have absolutely no clue what I'm doing with my life (especially when it comes to romance). I don't know if I should take a vow of celibacy or start lonely-dialing all of the old "friends with benefits" standbys. Because I'm at the point where if I don't get some sort of physical contact -- a massage, even! -- I think I'm going to self-destruct.

I wish it were easier to know the right things to do, avoid hurting people, and find simple happiness and joy in this world. Sadly, I can't see any of this at the moment, which leads me to believe I need to turn off the computer, brush my teeth, and simply go to bed. Namaste.